September 9, 2011

Wilderness Safety

When confronted by a grizzly bear, do not run. Even a very young bear can outrun an Olympic sprinter. Your safest move is to play dead. Living dead.


On occasion, a more experienced bear might call your bluff.  In this case, there is no choice but to fully commit.




Generally after having lost a chunk or two of brain matter, a grizzly will leave you alone.
And you can return to enjoying the great outdoors!


September 2, 2011

Big Date

In preparation for my big date, I elected to purchase a bottle of "Extra-Whitening" mouthwash. A sure boost to my waning boneability.
In order to save money for said big date, I chose a cheaper "off" brand, with which I was theretofore unfamiliar.

Upon a closer, post-rinse inspection, I discovered that I had actually purchased "Extra-Widening" mouthwash.



I did not seal the deal.